Roxanne didn’t know if she was going to be able to go about surviving a break up with her boyfriend George. He had been the focus of her life for over a year now. When he said that he wanted to see other people, she thought she would die.
At first, Roxanne tried to get George back. She wrote him love letters, phoned him a couple of times a day, and sent numerous texts. These things seemed to drive George further away rather than bringing him back.
After a couple of weeks, Roxanne decided that it was really over. She noticed that there were things around her house that reminded her of George. She also knew that George had her favorite stuffed animal. So, she suggested that the two of them do a “property exchange.” He gave her back her things and she gave him back his leather jacket. The little things like the comb and toothbrush he had left at her house she just threw away.
But, George didn’t want to take back the necklace he had given her last Valentine’s day. He told her to keep it to remember him. The point was, remembering him caused Roxanne too much pain right now. So, she boxed it away so that she wouldn’t have to see it and be reminded of him, at least for the time being.
Then, Roxanne asked George to cut off communication for a month. They would be able to move on with their lives without each other. It was a defense mechanism for surviving a breakup.
At first, George protested that he wanted to stay friends if not significant others, but Roxanne insisted that the “time out” would allow them to transition into their new relationship better. So, during that month, they didn’t talk, email, or otherwise contact each other. And, they made a point to be cordial but not friendly if they ran into each other.
Roxanne decided it was time to reconnect with her girlfriends during this period. She had spent time with them when George wasn’t demanding her attention, but she wanted to spend some real quality time with them during this period. She organized “Girl’s Nights Out” and other events.
She also took up yoga and joined a book discussion group. These things were very helpful in surviving a break up for her. In addition to her old friends, she started to make new friends through these activities. Getting back out and doing things she enjoyed also allowed her to feel that she was moving on from her old relationship.
On one of the “Girls Nights Out,” she met Jim. They flirted and eventually he got her phone number. While she didn’t think she was ready for a new relationship, she went out on a date with him anyway. She knew that getting back into the game was one way of surviving a breakup.